Art as of late

hhmm...

so ive been feeling a little lonely in the sack, no not like that but just like that. so...... the game is afoot. ive been conducting research on possible candidates, as creepy and stalker like that sounds, for a possible new interest. what can you blame me, i want to learn and i need to learn. i want to beat this shell of mine to dust and open more up to things around me, hence the research. the old ways of walking up and asking have been the most effective and least at the same time, cause of my cowardice nature, which i will break out of. with help.

new development, my mind has come up with new ideas for paintings since i got back into painting from my long dry spell. i want to work large scale for my work, more detail. more money, more costly.

shit.

that strange feeling

sometimes i like to think im different in terms of thinking. i look for meaning in what i can in everything around me, it make take seconds or a lifetime, but i continue to look. though it is fun to come across it when im doing something else that is nowhere near anything that area in a million years.

eureka would be the term.

with that said i have to say i can over think or under think everything and anything. if you are reading this then maybe i am or then again maybe im not. all i know is what keeps me going is that there is something to find in everything, and to give back what i learned. i will go to say my decisions can sometimes be the best of me. i like to think that my actions will effect for the better and that my thoughts and instincts can guide me to make the proper choices. the thing i fear most in life is me.

its said in most fiction and non-fiction that one man can change to world with his actions.
well ive made the first step to do so, by starting to give back what i know to students and in-turn learn from them.

i will go to say this, no, stop what our thinking and get back to what your doing, yes i know you may think what im saying gives you some kind of thought but, not that one. yes that one. so get up and get back to learning, it will only better you further than you can imagine. do what you do best, live.

Passing

I recently lost a family memeber who ahs seen show much and gave back even more in his time, and it got me thing becuase my grandpa my be soon giving back to the universe in kind as well. so me this is from a warm place i dont really show. enjoy.

Everyday we wake up, go to work, go hone spend time with family, sleep and wake to do it over again. But everyday something different will happen that will change the days ahead forever. People believe that when someone passes on that they are lost forever. That's a lie. They influence the next generation after them even after decades because they were influence by people they loved and who been long since gone. The cycle repeats itself only to setup the basis for the next, because the next generation will build upon their teachings.
When it comes to the service and wake, you see and feel sadness and pain. Yes they are unbearable, but required help strengthen the resolve as whole.
The family's bond grows tighter and stronger. The wake is when you look past all the pain and talk about all the great moments about a person. You take all the memories and share them with everyone that this person has touched and influenced in there life.
Then the process of sorrow and pain become less with the stories and laughter that theyy have brought you. Warmth replaces coldness, fear is replaced with hope, grief is replaced by joy. Time heals more than force. Everyday will be different with this passing, but everyday will be brighter than the last by them and knowing that they aren't gone but are always still there inside you keeping you going. Thus the cycle is recreated into a new beginning a rebirth of your lives. The change of passing into forward.
In all of space and time one thing is constant, life finds a way.

When is it ok to stop?

its hard, being a friend, bf, and a control sample. the only thing in life i see relevent is the fact that i hope for the best in eveyone i meet, know and left. im a nice guy, im not perfect, and i accpet that, i care to much about things that have nothing to do with me, even though they happen around me. when you go through life with anger and hate, it takes time to change your ways and to open up to people and experience new things and whatnot. when you live with people you learn from them and grow from them, relationships form and grow, live effect one another, the ties that bind are set for a period of time, maybe a year or two. at times you will see that tie challenged by a force of somekind to tear it a new one, or others it will loosen for a break of tension. people have a way of creating a destorying more than just buildings, animals, land, each other. they destory the future that can help them make a better tomorrow, not light years away, but a few days or so.

go ahead and think back to a time where you remember the best point in your life that had good friends and loved ones.......... times up, if you can remember more than one to ten awesome, if you cant than start. ive personally have cut off a few people in my list, but still remember a few good times with them, and to this day wish them the best if not better than now. the feelings i have for them are better than before and have changed over time. if you know who or what im talking about than your ahead of the game, or are you?

i relate life to everything ive seen or read in my life, as a basis for the next. although not very good, but its a start, just be afraid when life decides to cancel you.

the triangle is a three sided shape, the basis of structure and of math for most of time and space, its a prime number, 3 and its also my favorite number, it describes me. i know it has balance, which i try for eveyday. it puts me in the center, so its a small ego thing. i only wish for a balance in everyone so that they can enjoy themselves in anyway possible, without endangering themselves emotionally, physicallya, and mentally, but isnt that what life is about, risk?

no, not all the time, although some is better than none. adrenaline is amazing too.

its hard being switzerland

Psycho customers

I love it when i get the crazy ones, it makes me feel a little better that there are others out there. the heart pumps from the tenson and excitement, the adrenaline kicks in for fight or flight, the thoughst of what to come are invigorating.

"illustrator" doesn't mean graphic design, like the program!

I fucking hate people sometimes, they assume too much for granted. So i have an interview at 11am today and i'm an illustrator, i draw, paint, color, concept. im not a graphic designer, i dont have tight lines or a steady hand, now for the most part its a job offer so i'm not going to pass it up. anyway i just now found out what type of job it is at 630 in the fucking morning, and im not a good morning person. God i want to strangle the career advisor just to get my point across, but i cant burn bridges with someon who can get me a job.

Project Sketchbook 2011

I did this when it was brought to my attention by a friend Project Sketchbook is done by arthousecoop.com it happens every year, anyone and everyone can enter. So I did.